Friday, November 25, 2011

the key

»You know, there are two sorts of things in life: The round and the rest. That's the secret, if you've comprehended this, you possess the key to a happy life. Because the round things are the good ones and then there are skinny things.

Anything skinny will break sooner or later or get jammed or you get it between your feet and you fall down and what will you end up with? Exactly, a bleeding nose. I don't want it, you don't want it. Skinny things are not good.

Then there are pointed things, the kind with straight edges and corners and all that. Pretty high potential to get hurt or cause accidents. I believe these are mostly dangerous, non-helpful things. And straight and pointed things tend to bend easily or get damaged (at least thats my experience so far), these clearly lack roundness, that’s the problem here.

Round is nicer. Tends to hold a lot of pressure and if it bends, it is still round. Easier to turn and good for both the flow of energy and your spine. Especially at the neck. Plus it tastes better.

There seem to be more shapes and forms and stuff, but that's not for me. Too confusing. I say: you want a happy life, you stick to the round things.«

I shrugged. This guy was completely nuts.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

cats and dogs

Are you still looking for your cat? What did it look like?

Cute. I like striped cats a lot. You must know, I am very fond of pets in general, and I definitely prefer cats to dogs.
Dogs are, well, they are so reliable, that’s a bit boring in a way, do you know what I mean? With cats, they’re never quite tame, they keep having their own lifes. Much more exiting.
There is always a certain mystery about cats: you never know what they will do next. They don’t follow you like dogs, it is more like they accept you to keep them company. You can feel chosen, haha

… Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.

That is the down side: A cat can just decide to leave and you will never know why. Just disappear and that’s it. Very sad, I can fully understand your grief – but still a truly free being did chose to walk a part of the way with you, I wouldn’t say it is an honour, but it surely is a good thing. 

Anyway: good luck, I hope you’ll find your cat. Striped, you say? I’ll let you know when I see it. I told you, I like cats a lot, especially striped ones.

I like cats.

Thursday, November 3, 2011


Today I met the headmaster of the universe. I can't tell you who gave me the address, because I promised not to do so, and I won’t say where she lives for the same reason, just one thing: You’d be surprised.
I admit I expected something impressing and representative, but the location is … well, humble at least. This is mainly because, to rule the world, it’s best to go unnoticed. She said, it is even essential. Importance or noticability would just interfere with what you have to do.

So she asked me in, we sat down and had a cup of tea. I was rather intimidated at first. After all I was having tea with the most important being of the universe! But she was very nice, just as humble as her residence, and soon we chatted as if we’d known each other for a long time (which, in a way, is the case). Here is some of our conversation:

»I’m sure you must very busy, I hope I’m not keeping you away from work?«
»You don’t keep me from anything. Take a seat. Tea?«
»Yes please, thank you.« I sat down. She made rattling noises with the tea pot. I asked If I could help, but she refused my offer. When she came back with the tea, I asked:
»So is it true that you’re the ruler of the world?«
»Ruler doesn’t quite match it, more like a janitor. And: The universe, not the world.«
»Is that 'yes'?«
She smiled. »Sure«, she said.
»A Janitor, you say … excuse me, but it doesn’t seem to be in very good shape lately.«
»You think so? A lot of things are just like they're supposed to be. You must understand, that a certain amount of imbalance is needed to keep it all moving. Of course there is always some tweaking necessary, and it’s a problem when people try to interfere, but, well, that's why a headmaster is needed, so who am I to complain?« She smiled and took her cup. »But I am boring, talking about my work all the time. What’s it like to be a deer, I’m very curious about this …«

And so we sat and chatted all afternoon.

it’s best to go unnoticed